Sadly, not all marriages work out. If your relationship is a statistic, you’ll want to go through the process as painlessly as possible. The key here is to try and work through the details of the divorce together as much as possible. Don’t leave the division of your personal belongings and children up to the courts. By working together you’ll be much more able to get what you want and have a fairly painless and agreeable divorce. You may require mediation to work through some of the details. You obviously can’t both have the house, the boat etc. You’re going to have to come up with an agreeable division of the assets of the relationship.
Regardless of who is at fault, you’re going to have to let go of the past and look forward to your freedom and your ability to move on. You don’t want to hang on to the pain, let it go and move your life forward. Always remember that you went into the relationship as two separate individuals and you’re leaving as two different people. You can take the lessons learned and move your life forward.
There is always a bit of pain and sadness when you end a relationship even if the relationship seemed to be right at the time. Just remember the good times and let go of the bad and you’ll find that you’re releasing the pain. You can’t move forward if you’re hanging on to the pain and if you’re hanging on the anger of an infidelity or some other issue. Many people simply grow apart. That doesn’t make either of them wrong. It’s just a sad fact of how some marriages end. Forgive yourself, forgive your ex and learn to live a new healthy life. Some of the divorce lawyers as well understand your pain and will help you go through this change with less pain and emotional difficulty
While you are going through the process of divorce you’ll have different phases. You’ll work through anger, grieving what could have been and finally, acceptance. Each step has a different time frame and no one can tell you that you’re lingering in any one phase for too long. Remember that this is your own personal journey and no one else’s. You’re going to have your own personal time frame for grieving the relationship.
Take your time and work through the issues so that you’re ready to move on as time passes. Don’t involve the children in the process. Don’t pit them against your ex. Share them equally if at all possible. They are grieving as well and you can’t hold them hostage by pitting them against their other parent.